Managing Your Finances During Divorce

Divorce may be considered one of the most stressful time for any family going through it.  It can be stressful emotionally and financially.  Objectively, any divorce can be settled with less problems and stress.  However, due to the height of emotions, both spouses can be unreasonable and pig-headed.  The emotions are usually triggered by fear, anger, and their respective perceptions of failure.


The impact of the divorce on the children can likewise add to complications.  Though the mother has always been favored in child custody, the divorce case can drag on for a long period because of disputes in alimony, child support, or child custody.  While the case remains unsettled, the mother already commences with life as a single parent as the children are usually temporarily left in her custody while the legal battle rages on.  I guess there is no pause button to being a mother.  Despite the difficulties surrounding us, it is a role that must be upheld regardless of the circumstances.


It is during that initial stage of being a solo mom that many experience problems financially.  The cost of lawyers’ fees alone can be staggering while the case remains unsettled.  Thus, it is necessary to resolve everything at the soonest possible time.  While amicable settlement may be the best answer to reducing the cost of divorce, it may be easier said than done.


How do you manage finances at that crucial period then?  For the mother, the best thing at that point would be to keep expenses at the minimum.  If possible, she should also ask the father to assist in supporting the children during that period.  Moreover, the case will be easily settled if all documentations are complete and irrefutable.  As such, you should start preparing for all your post-divorce financial goals early on.  Be prepared with all your plans on children’s college expenses, debt reduction, taxes, and even retirement assets.  All documents related to shared bank accounts, assets, and debt should be ready by the time the case starts.  Since assets will be divided, don’t try to hide any asset from the court.  This may eventually be discovered during court proceedings and prolong the case as the assets will be re-divided again upon discovery.


For the single mother, keep in mind that the most important thing to focus on is protecting your financial health.  Your children’s future will depend on the outcome of the settlement.  Though you have an attorney who will take care of everything, it is also best to be aware of the laws in your state that involve divorce.  Know your rights from the start and be firm in asserting them.  And whatever agreement you are able to close with your spouse, be sure it is in writing to avoid any future complications.  Whatever you agree on the pension plans, division of assets, tax liabilities, or debt, make sure it is something your spouse does not agree on just to settle the matter.  Put everything on paper to protect yourself from any alleged miscommunications.


And if you do decide to take the leap again, remind yourself of the lessons you have learned from your previous divorce.  Better yet, get a pre-nuptial agreement (if you still have trust issues, but it that's the case perhaps you shouldn't be marrying him).  Though you may feel that everything will be fixed once the material things have been dealt with, don’t forget about your children and the effects the divorce will have on them.  After all is said and done, they are still more important than any asset, liability, or settlement.