As you can see I’ve been on an unplanned break from writing here. My life has taken some unexpected turns. Nothing bad per se; but changes none the less. I haven’t felt much like writing because I don’t feel that I have much to say. Lately I have been reading like crazy. That is one of my passions as I love learning and discovering new ideas. I’ll tell you more about what I’ve been reading later.
The focus of my life has been looking deep inside to reconnect with my spirit. Seems that I’ve neglected it and I’ve had the nagging need to just stop and listen to what my heavenly Father is saying to me. A series of events have forced me to ask some hard questions.
The main event has been financial. I have old debts from my divorce and I was contemplating what I should do. Should I file for bankruptcy or try to pay them off myself? I had a lot of bitterness over the debt because I blamed my ex for getting me in the mess.
During this writing break I examined myself and decided that nothing happened to me or my finances that I didn’t allow. I made the ultimate choice when I could have said no and risked his anger or shaming tactics. So I have debt that’s accumulated over the last three years because I didn’t want to face it. Now I am facing it because it is my responsibility to correct the situation and move forward in my life.
I’ve come up with a debt repayment plan but my dilemma is how to repay without further dings on my credit report. It’s a catch-22 kind of situation. I must keep in mind the ultimate goal, which is to repay the debt and not worry so much about my credit report. I will feel better once I know that I’ve fulfilled my financial obligations.
Another event is trouble I had with my car. I had no problems with it until about a month and a half ago. The first mechanic thought it was my transmission (a big ticket repair) but turned out to be a computer problem which was less costly, but still expensive. I am blessed to have a friend who was gracious enough to take care of the bill. I have a repayment plan in place to take care of the ungifted portion. Last week I had another problem with my car that took an unexpected chunk out of my paycheck that was to go to back to school expenses. I am blessed that I had the money but it put a dent in my plans.
These events just go to show that having an emergency fund is critical. It can be hard to recover when these things happen and it can threaten to get you down too. I’ve been shuffling a few things around and just taking it one day at a time. I have to remember that I have my health, healthy kids, a job, and a home. Most importantly, I have a heavenly Father who takes care of my needs. He’s always working things out in ways I never would have expected.
One of the many blessings is afterschool care for my son. I live in an area where the after school programs are pretty expensive ($65/week), at least for my budget. About a month ago I began an intensive search for a program or situation I could put him in. I came across an afterschool program in my city that the local police runs called the PAL or Police Athletic League.
Their program is a third of the cost ($25/week) of other programs and they have extremely caring people involved. At first I thought it was $35 a week, which I was excited to pay, then I found out that it was only $25, which had me jumping for joy! I thought I needed to pick my son up from school and take him each day and I was prepared to do this, then I found out that they have a bus that will pick him up. Now I don’t have to stop what I’m doing at work at 2pm each day to wait in a long carpool line to pick him up. The best thing is they center is open until 8pm. I won’t need to leave him there that long but it’s nice to know that I can in case I need to go shopping or take care of other business.
So my life has been in quite a bit of transition. I have made a decision to stop spinning my wheels and just enjoy life. My finances will improve with time, careful planning and prioritizing (do I really need premium cable and YMCA membership?). My focus is evolving for this blog/site and you will likely read more about my spiritual journey in terms of my finances and life in general. I am happy to share and I hope you are encouraged and inspired to take a look at your life in the process.
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5 comments:
YES I liked it much...thanks for your transparency. It makes my life seem really "REAL" and "OK". Yes that seems a bit funny but its true I have come to...ummm - I will call it a "crash" in this season of transition. I still am not sure exactly what it is and sure it has a lot to do with a bunch of little stuff. I do know that the most important thing was to get back on my knees and seek HIS ways and will and not my ideas and plans... It has been rough... Yet he has been faithful...i paid my rent praying that $ would be in the bank. Again because of lack of planning had to reach out to my emergency fund when if I planned REALISTICALLY I did not have to. Well to make it short I am starting from scratch...the 70% of my time I spent on what I thought was important I know changed to 30% and the 30% I thought had little importance Know changed to 70%. I needed to shift my priorities remembering that God is in control and that I am living a dream by being able to be home with my boys...So I too am learning to take it one day at a time and also I need to SLOW DOWN and smell the flowers...remembering I have two precious gifts to raise for the LORD!
Damaris I know exactly what you are saying. My desire now is to know more of His will and way so my knees get quite a work out too. Of course I am almost constant communication throughout the day too. Let's keep encouraging each other through this journey. God Bless!
Two powerful testimonies. Thank you for sharing.
Samantha, I mentioned to you that I'm planning a four-city single parent expo for next with three other women. It sounds like you're one of the women that we're targeting: the middle-class single mom that gets overlooked and lost in the system. It truly is a catch-22 when you work your butt off to get out of the system, only to find that you're still struggling, only this time with less help.
The circumstances that you mentioned (crazy ex, car trouble, after-school care ($65/week is a lot for after school care period)) are enough to wipe out anybody's emergency fund. Just goes to show that not only do we need an emergency plan, we need to stay connected, so that we can help and encourage each other. That brings me to my next point, you and I have some unfinished business that we need to get back to.
I know you're in transition, and I'm ever evolving. But together we can make things happen.
Be blessed.
Lisa you are so right about this catch-22. I am a contract employee with a great company but they are putting off hiring me full-time. Since the agency doesn't readily offer insurance and what they do have is very expensive I go without. I can't get my son on the state insurance plan because I make too much money. It's so irritating. And get this, I don't bring home nearly as much as I make because of taxes, etc. The state system looks at the gross and not the net which is what I live on. I'm just wondering if it will ever change.
I am a tax preparer and year after year I hear the struggles of hundreds of families...sad to say even those with two parents at home...one could imagine us single women. It hit me like a BOMB this year's tax season when one of my clients shared with me that her children now teens are able to care for their younger siblings and are saving so much on childcare, however it took all those years of hard working $ to pay for childcare of 3 children...heartbroken she shared.."Damaris, my sitter for all those years just purchased her home cash and we are still renting living paycheck to paycheck." I just took a deep breathe and in my heart said my prayer Lord thank you....that I am not subject to have to experience that reality.
See before the year ended actually 10 days before Christmas... I was let go from my 9-5. The blessed thing was that I was prepared for it. See, after viewing my income and re-adjusting my budget mid 08' I prayed Lord I am spending more in child care for my 2 boys than in rent a month. I then prayed Lord I am living on less than 1/2 of my income if I eliminate my childcare I am able to have a savings account, emergency fund and live comfortable but controlled. I then changed my prayer from more income and or a new job to.... Lord the opportunity to get rid unnecessary spending like this childcare and give me work or a business where I can generate different streams of income of even less than 1/2 what I was making with the flexibility to stay home and care for my boys. Walla...prayer answered to God be all the Glory. When I was released from the job I felt conflicted because I thought I should cry or be said or worried, but in actuality I felt freedom from Bondage/Slavery to a paycheck of me working to pay someone else its a nasty vicious cycle that unfortunately makes for most a burden instead of a joy of having children.
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