My Banking Horror Story: Lessons from a Single Mom

Last week I got an email alert from Bank of America about my checking account balance. I checked it and was peeved because it was showing a negative balance.

Why was I upset? Well, because I don’t use that account and there has been no activity but I had a negative balance!

The culprit was banking fees. I was reminded once again why I despise using banks in the first place. They typically nickel and dime you to death with their fees and Bank of America is a front runner in this practice.

What Was I Thinking!?!?!

You might be wondering how I got in with this group in the first place, right? About a year ago I did work for a client and he gave me a check from, whom else? Bank of America. I went in to cash the check and go on my merry way. But nooooo ....they started in on me with a heavy sales pitch. So why didn’t you tell them where to get off, you ask?

Promises Promises

They would give me a no-fee account since I was with “X” employer because I let them know I did not use banks because of fees. They threw in an extra $75 for opening the account. Well, who doesn’t like free money? I love free money so I agreed to open the account. I would use it for local deposits and connect my landlord’s account for easy rental payment transfers.

Was it Really Convenient?

At the time I did not have a local financial center, so I bit the bait and got reeled into opening up an account. I deposited the check and opened two checking and one savings accounts. Looking back I see this was a bit over the top. Did I really need two checking accounts? Turns out I got a double whammy of fees because of this decision.

With the most recent email alert I went to the bank on my lunch break to close all accounts with this bank. I was met by a friendly enough young man who searched for a customer assistant to help me. I had to wait about ten minutes while one “banker”, as they are called, finished up with a customer and the other completed an investigation for one of the tellers. It was a little after lunchtime so I suppose everyone was out to lunch after the lunch rush.

I Guess I Can't Call it Fast Food

After about ten minutes I was escorted into an office and asked the reason for my visit. I told the woman I wanted to close my accounts. She wanted to know why and I told her I hate fees and they are pretty much sticking it to me. She said they could make the account fee-free if I wanted. Duh!!!! I wanted to scream, “Why would anyone want a fee-based checking account?” I told her no thanks and please close my accounts. She asked if I had another bank. I told her yes. She started to ask another question but I cut her off and told her to please close the accounts. I could feel a sales pitch coming again.

The Plot Thickens

While processing the request she told me I had to pay the fees for the negative balance. I knew I would so I wasn’t sweating it. I’d chalk it up to experience, i.e. never deposit my money in a fee-based checking account with an institution that thrives on such fees. I told her I would pay it with my debit card from my other bank, but she says they can’t accept that. I looked at her like she had two heads because I’m confused. I assumed money is money and any legal tender should do. I am feeling very unhappy by this time but I was in for more aggravation.

No debit cards? No problem. I decide to write a check but, as I’m pulling it out, she tells me I can use the ATM in the lobby to get cash! She was "concerned" about my using checks on this small matter. I am feeling more inconvenienced as time ticks away especially since I'm on my lunch break. Her next statement baffled me even more. We had to go out to a teller to complete the transactions. She couldn’t complete the closeout at her computer or accept the money. In my book this makes her pretty worthless. I could have done everything, at the teller counter, in that case.

So, I agreed to go to the lobby, to the conveniently located ATM, to withdraw cash, to pay for fees they’ve attached to my inactive account. I get to the machine and ask her how much the fee will be from the ATM machine. She doesn’t know and proceeds to tell me that all banks charge fees, even mine. I flatly told her that mine doesn’t because it’s a CREDIT UNION! She’s clueless and keeps going on and on about banks and ATM fees and it’s no different, blah, blah, blah. I stare at her blankly and she finally zips it sensing, I’m sure, I didn’t want to hear it.

I'm About Ready to Have a Meltdown!

The answer to my next question really wanted me to go through the roof. When I asked her how much I owed, she got the “deer caught in the headlights look” and stammered out she needed to do the calculations. What? Are you kidding me? She went through all of this and didn’t know how much I “owed”? She bounces off to the teller counter to grab a calculator to make her calculations while I stood there waiting as time slowly ticked-tocked away.

I managed to maintain my professional composure and refrained from giving her a lecture in customer service. I got my total, got the cash and waited as she and the counter teller processed my accounts bringing them to a zero balance. The “banker” had to go do something in the middle of the process. In the meantime the teller waited with a plastic smile until she returned. Finally everything was closed out and I got my receipts; but it wasn’t over. I had to go back to the bank lady’s office for the final printouts showing my accounts were now closed.

This process took 30 minutes to complete! It was a lot of irritation on my part and poor customer service and processing on their part. The experience, as frustrating as it was, reminded me of lessons I learned a few years ago about banks and hopefully taught you a few things in its retelling. 

Next time I'll share my thoughts about banks and give you a few tips to help you avoid what I went through.

Do you have any banking horror stories? Which do your prefer? Banks or Credit Unions?