A Few Reminders

Win a Copy of the Book

If you haven't done it already, enter for a chance to win an autographed copy of 100 Secrets of Successful Single Motherhood . All you have to do is leave a comment with a personal tip from your experience as a single mom. The deadline is April 24 at 11:59 p.m. Enter to win one of two copies now.

Free Email Coaching

Sometimes the daily trials of single motherhood is too much to handle. You just need support, someone to talk to about the problems. Well now you have an opportunity to get the support you need with a life coach. I am offering free email coaching to anyone in need. Simply fill out the contact form on the Contacts page.

Single Mom Success and Survival Kit

Last but not least, download the Single Mom Success and Survival Kit. It's free and filled with all the tools you need to continue through this journey of single motherhood.

A Few Reminders

Win a Copy of the Book

If you haven't done it already, enter for a chance to win an autographed copy of 100 Secrets of Successful Single Motherhood . All you have to do is leave a comment with a personal tip from your experience as a single mom. The deadline is April 24 at 11:59 p.m. Enter to win one of two copies now.

Free Email Coaching

Sometimes the daily trials of single motherhood is too much to handle. You just need support, someone to talk to about the problems. Well now you have an opportunity to get the support you need with a life coach. I am offering free email coaching to anyone in need. Simply fill out the contact form on the Contacts page.

Single Mom Success and Survival Kit

Last but not least, download the Single Mom Success and Survival Kit. It's free and filled with all the tools you need to continue through this journey of single motherhood.

Operation Nurture Mommy: Free and Low Cost Ways to Take Care of Myself without Breaking the Bank

I am worn out, emotionally that is. Over the last couple of months I have been doing a lot of extra giving, especially to my kids. I love them so much and want them to have the best of me. I want to be emotionally present and assure them of my love and interest in their lives.

It seems the fallout of being a single mom is the need to over express and give abundant reassurance that my kids are okay. They are loved and wanted.

Operation Nurture Mommy: Free and Low Cost Ways to Take Care of Myself without Breaking the Bank

I am worn out, emotionally that is. Over the last couple of months I have been doing a lot of extra giving, especially to my kids. I love them so much and want them to have the best of me. I want to be emotionally present and assure them of my love and interest in their lives.

It seems the fallout of being a single mom is the need to over express and give abundant reassurance that my kids are okay. They are loved and wanted.

7 Steps to Economic Empowerment: It Begins Between the Ears

The goal of Rich Single Momma is to empower single moms to live a balanced life starting with their money. Because money is usually on the top of the list of concerns this is naturally the best topic to cover during the first part of this New Year. But is it really about the money or something more?

The way I see it, it is about empowerment. For many the relationship with money is a love/hate relationship. We need it all the time, love it when we have it, and hate it when it’s out of our reach. To be empowered when it comes to money is to change our thoughts about it and come to an understanding that will benefit you. Here are seven tips for economic empowerment and a better relationship with money:

7 Steps to Economic Empowerment: It Begins Between the Ears

The goal of Rich Single Momma is to empower single moms to live a balanced life starting with their money. Because money is usually on the top of the list of concerns this is naturally the best topic to cover during the first part of this New Year. But is it really about the money or something more?

The way I see it, it is about empowerment. For many the relationship with money is a love/hate relationship. We need it all the time, love it when we have it, and hate it when it’s out of our reach. To be empowered when it comes to money is to change our thoughts about it and come to an understanding that will benefit you. Here are seven tips for economic empowerment and a better relationship with money:

What Are You Asking of Life Single Mom?

I came across this poem that Napoleon Hill included in the original edition of Think and Grow Rich:

"I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid."
~anonymous

What wage are you asking of life? Have you been asking and expecting too little? Just because you are a single mom, have been down on your “luck” and seem to struggle for the very basics of life, you don’t have to continue down this path. It’s time to start asking for more and expecting more.

The best way to do this is to start setting goals. Start simply but don’t hesitate to ask for big things. I am more than happy to show you how and share with you how life has been paying me big time. It’s no gimmick or sham, but through desire, determination, and belief I have reached too many goals to count.

Join me on the Destiny by Design in 2009 Teleseminar tonight at 8pm. Sign up here and get the details now! You have nothing to lose.

Destiny by Design in 2009 Teleseminar

When: January 5, 2009 (Tonight!)

Time: 8 pm

Place: Your phone

How do I sign up? Fill out the form below to register. You will get a follow-up email with the call-in details.

 Update: The teleseminar will be rescheduled for another time that works with everyone's schedule. Please leave a comment and let me know what times work for you.

What Are You Asking of Life Single Mom?

I came across this poem that Napoleon Hill included in the original edition of Think and Grow Rich:

"I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid."
~anonymous

What wage are you asking of life? Have you been asking and expecting too little? Just because you are a single mom, have been down on your “luck” and seem to struggle for the very basics of life, you don’t have to continue down this path. It’s time to start asking for more and expecting more.

The best way to do this is to start setting goals. Start simply but don’t hesitate to ask for big things. I am more than happy to show you how and share with you how life has been paying me big time. It’s no gimmick or sham, but through desire, determination, and belief I have reached too many goals to count.

Join me on the Destiny by Design in 2009 Teleseminar tonight at 8pm. Sign up here and get the details now! You have nothing to lose.

Destiny by Design in 2009 Teleseminar

When: January 5, 2009 (Tonight!)

Time: 8 pm

Place: Your phone

How do I sign up? Fill out the form below to register. You will get a follow-up email with the call-in details.

 Update: The teleseminar will be rescheduled for another time that works with everyone's schedule. Please leave a comment and let me know what times work for you.

What are you attracting?

What are you attracting into your life right now? Is it love ? Hate? Bad relationships? A terrible work environment? Your feelings, whether positive or negative determines what comes into your life?

Mobile post sent by SamanthaG using Utterz.  Replies.

Self-indulgence is Good for Single Moms

Too many time we as single moms forget to do a little self-indulgence. We think it's too expensive or there isn't enough time considering all the tasks we have to do. Well let me tell you, it doesn't have to be expensive or time consuming to show yourself a little love. The good thing is you can do it right now. Here is a quick tip that will make you feel like  you are walking on air.

Quick and Easy Foot Massage

For this how-to all you will need is lotion and your hands. It's best done in the morning or evening or both. Take your favorite lotion (I prefer my lavendar fragrance lotion because it relaxes me) and rub it on your clean feet. Now take one foot and rub the bottom in circular motion with your thumbs. You can do a combination of massage strokes to get the blood circulating. It only takes a minute to complete one foot so now you are ready to switch to the other foot. Repeat the same process and in two minutes you are done.

Your feet should feel relaxed and refreshed by now and notice that it didn't take an extra amount of time or money to get it done. Please take the time to indulge yourself on a regular basis. Your outlook will be much better because you are loving and valuing  yourself. Look for other self-indugence tips in future posts.

You Rock!

Rockin' Single Mom Sam

Empowered to Battle (or not), Part 4

I've been discussing the right to choose the battles you engage in with the kids, the ex, and the family/friends. Being empowered this way makes life much less stressful, so let's get on with this last installment.

The Job/Career

Working is one thing single moms usually can’t get around. We have to work to make ends meet and give our kids the semblance of a normal life. But there are times when all things related to the job make me what to throw in the towel and go on welfare. It’s much safer at home where I can surf the internet all day, cook a great meal for the kids, and take naps. But instead I get up early to go to work where I am not always appreciated and praised.

 

There are even times when the boss is a jerk and refuses to admit his mistakes or give me credit for a product or process. I’ve learned that the battle is mostly in my mind, because in the world of work, every person is ultimately number one and I don’t matter much more than the completion of the next project. So with the battle being my head I can make some choices. I can make the choice to not take things personally.

 

I can realize that at the end of the day I get to go home and be with people who love me. I also understand and jump for joy that my boss is not going to come with me. I get to leave him right where he is and forget about him and the job until the next day. The battle is won in my mind and I am at peace. Of course I still do a good job, because I realize it’s more about personal satisfaction than anything.

 

The battles in your life and mine seem to come nonstop, but we are fortunate enough to have choices, smart enough to make good decisions, and savvy enough to make those decisions matter. Because in the grand scheme of things the little battles are just a minor annoyance compared to the joy of motherhood.

 

Tell me what you think. What is your experience? Empowerment is yours!

 

Rockin' Single Mom Sam

Empowering Yourself and Pick Your Battles, Part 3

In this series I've been talking about picking your battles and empowering your life. Battles with the kids and the ex may feel like a constant drain on your emotions, but you can make the choice to choose what battles you will fight. This time we I'll talk about picking battles with family and friends.

 

The Family/Friends

Some single moms have close ties with the family. As a result some family members are overprotective, overbearing, or over involved in your life. I was in this situation and at times it was more stressful than dealing with my ex. When the relationship is over, for some, family is who you turn to for help getting back on your feet. Mom and/or dad can help with childcare, finances, or a shoulder to cry on. The same can happen with close friends.

 

The problem occurs when this support system begins or attempts to run your life. They have all the answers about how to raise your children and they seem to be the only ones who know what’s best for you. Soon you find yourself wanting to run away from home or risk a relationship breakdown because of heated words.

 

In my case, my daughter began undermining my authority by asking my parents for things I told her she couldn’t have. Setting boundaries is the only way to reduce the number of battles you have, if you have any. My boundary was moving four hours away. I felt my life spiraling out of control and felt a clean break was the best thing for me and my family. You may find other solutions that work for you.

 

Next time I'll discuss Job/Career battles. Empowerment is yours!

 

Rockin' Single Mom Sam

Empowered to do Battle the Smart Way, Part 2

Last time I talked about picking battles with my kids about clothes, bed and bath time, food, and friends. This time I'll talk about doing or not doing battle with the ex.

The Ex

Battles with the Ex have raged on since the beginning of time (well almost). My ex is no different with the exception of nasty arguments and name calling.

 

When I realized that we would not be raising our children together I made a decision to treat the relationship as business arrangement. Yes, I know, it’s easier said than done if he’s less than nice and purposely gives you a hard time. Once I realized that using the kids to make his life miserable or demanding what he “owed” me, I simply made a mental list of what I would need from him in order to raise my children. Surprisingly, when it was all said and done the list was very small. All I needed (and it turns out that it really wasn’t a need) was for him to pay child support.

 

I am fortunate that he willingly complied to pay child support without a court order so I’ve received it since the birth of my daughter. I had no problem with him visiting the kids or arranging a holiday visit.

 

I learned that by removing my emotions I am able to reduce the battles and get on with living, without him that is. If your ex is hard to get along with and is determined to make your life miserable you may consider finding an advocate to deal with him for you. It could be a friend, a parent, or a sibling. It doesn’t have to be a long term arrangement, just long enough until he understands that you are only concerned with the business of caring for your child.

 

Getting entangled in arguments and bitter fights with your ex just gives him power and control over you. Yes it's true; allowing people to push your buttons puts them in control of your life and behavior. I don't mean to lecture, but I've learned the hard way and just have to share with you. You have to get to the point where you are not angry at him or hurt that he’s no longer in your life. Until you do you will remain embattled with him and have a miserable life.

 

Next time I'll discuss family/friend battles. Here's to your empowerment!

 

Rockin' Single Mom Sam

Empower Yourself to Pick Good Battles

When I think about all the stuff that I’ve had to deal with as a single mom I’m reminded that it’s better to pick my battles rather than get wiped out in a pointless war. There is too much going on in my life to allow nit-picky things ruin my day, my relationships, and my health. I empower myself by picking my battles carefully in all areas of my life. A few battles that readily come to mind involve the kids, the Ex, the family/friends, and the job . Here are a few ways I’ve managed that might be helpful to you.

 

The Kids

Everyday there is something to fight about with the kids. Mine are in elementary and middle school so they pretty much have a mind of their own. There is the potential to battle over clothes, food, bath and bed time, as well as choice of friends.

 

The clothing battle, especially for my 12 year old daughter is a potential battle zone. She’s at the age where clothes equal popularity and the latest trends put a strain on my cash flow. Looking like Hanna Montana or the latest kid pop star is cool for her but the wacky/tacky fashions, not to mention the body hugging, parts revealing attire is enough to make me want to scream.

 

But I’ve learned to set a few guidelines and let her decide what she will wear. I do an quick, informal inspection before we leave the house and make firm suggestions when she wears a questionable top that will give all the little boys whiplash. She complies because she already knows the rules up front so that battle is diffused before it even gets started.

 

My 8 year old son is easier to handle. Just give him some jeans and a shirt and he’s good to go. There are times though when I have to remind him to put on matching socks or switch his shoes around because he still has trouble with two left feet at times.

 

Next time I'll talk about battles with the ex.

 

Rockin' Single Mom Sam

 

Single Mom Success Quick Tip #19 - Avoid the Super Mom Syndrome

There is so much to get done and only one of you to do it. As much as you would like to get everything and make sure that everything is perfect, don’t burn yourself out trying to get it all done. The most important job you have is to take care of your child(ren) and yourself. Ways to avoid the super mom syndrome is to:

1.       Ask for help

2.       Set priorities

3.       Relax certain standards regarding to housekeeping

4.       Stop saying yes to everyone, etc

5.       Get help in meals by having someone cook for you

o        Make casseroles

o        Cook once a month

o        Cook in the Crockpot

o        Have leftovers often  

I’m sure you’ve heard that no one will say on their death bed, “I wish I had worked more”, so give up being everything to everybody and take care of yourself. Pushing yourself to do it all is the easiest way to get burned out. It won’t benefit you or your children. So relax and breathe. That’s why you have tomorrows.

You Rock!

Rockin’ Single Mom Sam